Friday, April 23, 2010

Translating What The Tea Party Movement & Right-Wing Politicians Say (2nd Edition)


It was Bill Maher that said that the Tea Party is bound and determined to take our country back... then he said he'd rather have it taken forward instead.

The "angry" Tea Party movement has recently gained a lot of undeserved strength, ironically because the alleged “liberal” media has paid so much attention to it. In my opinion, the “Tea Baggers” and Sarah Palin aren’t really a separate autonomous movement, but actually GOP rejects that have been “disavowed” by the Republican Party for being an embarrassment to them. The official party uses them to express unpopular views and to take stands that are in line with most GOP supporters, but the tea baggers can loudly and frequently express them separately so that the Republican Party can assert that they don’t really “represent” the party’s “official” opinions, all the while hiding in the safety of knowing that the movement in general will support all GOP candidates and issues.

Provided here is a "conversion tool" of sorts, to help understand terms employed by the GOP's Religious/Political Right/Tea Party wing in their unjustfiably over-publicized editorials, church sermons and political speeches. These are the words and catch-phrases that are used by over-angry people that believe in their hearts that they have the god-given right to judge people and to declare anyone this or that. So what do they mean when they talk out of both sides of their mouths?

Here are a few translations.

Do you still beat your wife?:
A tea bagger will often slip an assumption into a statement to sneak it under the enthusiastic press’ radar for wide distribution. A sentence that starts with “Obama, who loves to devalue the U.S. dollar…” followed by something that makes little or no sense is a common tool. You are so flabbergasted at the ridiculous assertion that followed that you let them imply that President Obama loves to devalue the dollar as a given, rather than argue with it. Tell a lie often enough and it becomes an assumed truth; which is one of the GOP’s main tools… which leads to:

A phrase which if screamed and plastered across enough picket signs leads the uneducated to believe strongly that their taxes have gotten higher under the Obama administration. In actual fact for 95% of Americans, their taxes have gotten lower during the current administration. The GOP wealthy are actually trying to convince the general public that middle income families are paying as much (or in danger of paying as much) as they are in an attempt to get their own taxes lowered. And why do the rich pay at higher tax rates? Well, actually they don’t. The ever higher rates are actually an attempt to get the GOP wealthy to pay their fair share after their tax accountants have reduced their IRS payments down to next to nothing through deductions and loopholes.

What tea-baggers don’t want middle America to consider is that without taxes, our roads, schools, bridges, libraries and essential public services would vanish for lack of funding. Another fact is that as federal taxes go down, usually state and local taxes go up, figuring that we can afford to pay them more, now that we’re paying the fed less. Since the average wage earner only sees less in their paychecks, they blame the U.S. government.

So let’s take a look at those well known catch phrases used by Palin and the political right and let a “liberal” translate them to you in terms that make sense.

Almost half of Americans pay no income taxes at all!:
This little catch phrase-while true-allows Republicans to lead the common American to believe that the liberal poor don’t pay their fair share. The key phrase is “Income taxes”. Most middle-income families with four or more children actually pay little or no income taxes after deductions. They do however pay federal and inflated state and local taxes, along with Social Security etc. This is a method of getting us to feel sorry for the GOP wealthy who are supposedly paying more than their fair share but actually aren’t.

Un-American, unfair and/or detrimental to the struggling middle-class:
Anything that the Tea Party movement angrily disagrees with, is described using these phrases…whether it’s true or not. These descriptions have the convenience of the speaker not having to prove the declaration after it’s uttered.

Anyone who is white, heterosexual, married (or engaged to be), attends and tithes a minimum of ten percent to a Christian (preferably Baptist) church at least once a week, and is a registered Republican voter. The opposite terms "abnormal", "repugnant", "evil", and of course "offensive" are usually used nearby as a companion in the same paragraph or comment with this word. Blacks and Hispanics can sometimes be “normal”, but only if they completely adhere to strict guidelines, and stay in the background as much as possible. Be warned that the Republican Party/Tea Baggers will include you in their ranks in order to lure you into the voting booth, but the very moment the polls close on Election Day, you’ll be stuck outside their door without an entry password or their secret handshake.

Law abiding:
This hijacked term has been twisted to mean "those who adhere only to "God's law", in an attempt to misguide the uneducated into believing there's a difference between "god's law" and "civil" laws. For instance, several states and/or municipalities have "Consenting Adult" laws, which state that any two adults of legal consent age, regardless of sex, may engage in sexual activities in the privacy of their own home. To the Religious/Political Right, this is not one of God's laws, and therefore if you recognize the concept of "Consenting Adult" you are not a "law abiding" citizen. The same goes for a lawful legal abortion, etc. etc. ad nauseam. The Republican Party will not recognize an abortion as a legal right guaranteed to all Americans because they disagree with it. After all the GOP has no use for the Supreme Court unless it’s to do things like electing George Bush, preserve your right to own machineguns or control what children read or learn in public schools. Back in the seventies the court was packed with reactionary liberal judges who legislated from the bench; so their opinions legally binding or otherwise don’t count.

States rights/Big Government:
This implies that the government is so big that it won’t allow individual states to govern themselves. It’s a term yelled from the rooftops when the government won’t allow a state to do something, or forces them to do anything they don’t agree with. If the government didn’t have this power, southern blacks would never have gained the right to vote, attend whites-only schools and colleges, eat at a “whites only” restaurant, interacially marry, or gain equal employment. Big government is only needed by the Tea Party/GOP to protect gun rights and overrule state legislation protecting legal abortion or granting gay rights.

Running up the American debt for our children:
Something the former Republican president and congress had no qualms about doing after Bush conned the country into thinking that Saddam Hussein had something to do with planning 9/11 and was about to use “weapons of mass destruction” on our helpless children. Those trillions of tax-payer dollars were justified regardless of the national debt or not. Nor does it matter that a Republican administration initiated the billions in bank bailouts that the GOP is trying to pin on Obama and counting on the short memories of voters.

2nd amendment rights are threatened!:
The NRA doesn’t want to let slip their control over the Republican Party, so they convince normal Americans that the federal government is about to take their rights to own hunting rifles away from them. To quote Robin Williams,
“The NRA says that you have the right to use armor-piercing bullets if you're a hunter… WHY? How many deer wear bullet-proof vests?”

Someone please inform me of any time during his administration when President Obama has suggested taking the right of gun ownership away from everyday people?

Only those who strictly worship the Flag, the Bible, and any denomination of the Baptist Church as a holy trinity, which is quickly replacing "Baseball, mom, and apple pie". You must worship all three equally or be branded unpatriotic, traitorous, liberal, unchristian and/or a deviant.

Example of their hypocrisy: the "Patriot Act" has nothing to do with being patriotic in the literal sense of the word.

In God We Trust:
What this phrase means is their god to the exclusion of anyone else’s god. If you actually pressed a religious/political fanatic into explaining the phrase, you’d be appalled to discover that most “god fearing” people believe that unless you belong to their specific fundamentalist sect, you won’t make it to heaven, nor if it was up to them will the U.S. Government guarantee your right to worship (or not worship) as you please… or haven’t you noticed there are no officially recognized U.S. religious holidays that aren’t celebrated by Southern Baptists; nor are there likely to be.

Unborn child:
A phrase that makes as much sense and is just as misleading as calling a used car “pre-owned.”

This term should be obvious, but isn't. The word "evil" was hijacked by the Religious/Political Right, and the Tea Party movement loves to use this term to describe anything that they don't agree with. For example there is President Ronald Reagan’s beloved use of “The Evil Empire" to describe the former Soviet Union (not the one associated with Darth Vader). An associated adjective would be G.W.’s constant use of the term "evildoers". By his own definition President Bush was doing "evil" by haphazardly tapping innocent citizens phones because they "might" be terrorists, and/or holding foreign prisoners captive without legal representation, and in some cases psychologically or physically torturing them for the purpose of getting information from them. However the term “evil” only applies if you’re anything but a Republican Christian.

This used to be a proud term, meaning all-inclusive, all-encompassing and all-accepting. It used to be that you'd brag proudly of attending a Liberal College or studying Liberal Arts. However when used by the Religious/Political Right it means, (forgive me for being blunt here) "Fag lover", "God-hater", "Baby Killer" and "Against the Flag."

This term has taken on a meaning of its own, and usually when used by the Religious/Political Right is opposite of its intended "worldly" definition. A new religion as been defined as Secular Humanism, a very slippery term which can mean anything they conveniently want to oppose.

Offensive: see "Evil".

Beware I'm about to use most of the Liberal Thesaurus on these next two terms!

God is actually someone you unconditionally love, and who loves and accepts everyone; in other words he’s a liberal. (Hmmmm I wasn't struck by lightning while typing that sentence!) God speaks through you and to you and not through self-appointed, self-anointed men who pick and choose which Bible verses are significant and which aren't in order to argue in favor of slavery, prohibition of alcohol, or the suppression and segregation of one population over another.

God fearing:
This term is probably the most self-serving, judgmental, hypocritical, morally ambiguous, intellectually bankrupt, long-winded and Biblically challenged phrase of them all. Religious zealots use this term to make ordinary people "fear" god, and in so doing you will fear them by association. To fear God, is to fear your reverend/priest/minister/rabbi, through whom God supposedly speaks to you.

Racially balanced:
As in the oft-quoted, "The Republican Party is very racially balanced." This phrase is used during hurriedly arranged photo ops after someone of prominence has made the insinuation to the mainstream media that the Tea Party movement is composed of mostly loud-mouthed white people.

Someone is bound to utter this phrase just as you notice that all of the women, Blacks and Hispanics in the group have suddenly been pushed up into the front row smiling proudly for an unexpected camera, not realizing that behind them the next solid three rows are the white guys hiding their smirks because they know that they're really the ones in charge.

Judeo-Christian Values:
Note Judeo always comes first. This phrase is used often and loudly when the vocal right-wing Christian section is emphasizing that they have generously included Jews in their outrage about abortion, gay rights, or tax breaks for major corporations. Usually the next day the more extreme fundamentalists of the group give a sermon to their followers stressing that while they love their Jewish brothers (well, maybe just enough to get the election swung in their favor), they must still realize that in order for Jews to get into “their” heaven, they still must first accept Jesus Christ as their savior.

Sort of how they feel about their southern private Golf Clubs.

Your facts are only theories:
A phrase used most often when they know Democrats are speaking the truth, but they haven't found time to "Google, Bing or Yahoo" something opposing from a right-wing slanted website to refute it yet.

Knee-jerk reaction:
This translates to "They've intelligently reacted to something important before we did, causing us embarrassment, so we'll dismiss it as nothing in order to distract the public." The press in the past has had knee-jerk reactions to rising gas prices at the pump, but don't worry... soon it'll be "old news".

Some of my best friends are gay:
They live about three miles from me. My sister's hairdresser's maid introduced me to a plumber who lives next door to one, but I can't remember his name. He says they're nice people.

Impeding Our Free speech:
This translates to "Not permitting right-wing political or religious propaganda (most famously the 10 commandments) to be prominently displayed in and/or on public buildings".
See also:

Violating the spirit of the First Amendment:
This translates to their right of refusing to allow “liberals” to employ the "Free speech amendment" for such things as homosexual pornography, cuss words on “The Sopranos” reruns or showing nude scenes from “True Blood” on HBO. Hypocritically this phrase does not include publishing books criticizing George Bush or Ronald Reagan, nor the broadcasting of slanted opinions disguised as “facts” from the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robertson, Sarah "angry" Palin or Glen Beck.

Our children’s education is threatened by Obama!:
Never mind that federal school money was diverted to support private parochial schools, or that right-wing laws were passed to force teachers to have students believe religious texts over science books. Never mind that the Tea Party’s stand on lower taxes is causing whithering teacher salaries or larger, harder to manage class rooms… it’s all Obama’s fault.

I am praying for you! :
Personally I'm disgusted every time a politician utters this phrase. We were asked to pray for the lives of two space shuttle crew’s safe return, we were asked to pray for several sets of coal miners to be found alive, and Bush asked America to pray constantly for the victims of the World Trade Center to be rescued alive along with the lives of the victims of the Pentagon. All the GOP is doing is kissing the collective asses of the Political/Religious Right… nothing more-nothing less. Except giving false hope to grieving families.

This term is used frequently to stress the "sex" in homosexual, because the only real difference between a homosexual and a heterosexual is who they sleep with at night. The idea behind using the word "homosexual" is to emphasize the myth that gays are nothing more than sexual beings, to the exclusion of all else, as if this is the only thing they think about night and day. This increases the "icky" factor, causing normal god fearing people to shield their children and themselves from such beasts because homosexuals, like AIDS, rapidly spreads like a disease infecting innocents on contact. Usually in the same sentence or article you'll find such terms as "predator", "recruits or recruiter", "pedophile" or "degenerate" to bolster the claim that gays are only dangerous sexual beings. The term "gay" is avoided at all cost. Fear of this word is what brings right-wing voters out in droves, usually in loaded church busses helping the elderly get to a voting booth in exchange for looking over one of their "voting guides".

Note: in discussions concerning granting gay rights or gay marriage, a Tea Bagger will invariable make the ridiculous assertion that, “If we let them do that, the next thing you know they’ll want to be able to marry animals.”

Special Rights:
This term describes a set of basic human essentials that the Religious/Political/Tea Bagger Right reserves only and wholly for itself. By using the term "special" it convinces regular folks that gays want rights that "normal God fearing" Christians don't or can't have or that the faggots want to take away from them; rights that they covet exclusively for themselves! In actuality the "special" rights that the "Religious/Political Right" don’t want you to know that those heathen gays want are the following simple items:

1. The ability to visit a lover/partner of 10 years in an intensive care ward as a "next of kin", without being barred from the hospital and/or by the opposing family. (Fortunately that heathen liberal Obama forced this one upon the American public against their will.)

2. The unopposed ability of one partner/lover to inherit the property they've shared and nurtured for a lifetime from the other.

3. The ability to have both lover/partners listed as "parents" or "guardians" of the biological or adopted children they've lovingly raised and nurtured together.

4. The right to jointly own property, and to jointly file income as a couple

A pedophile is a homosexual that is attracted to, and tends to kidnap, eat, and/or molest innocent little children of either sex (go figure) and is morally unsavable. A heterosexual with the same tendencies is a "misguided soul" who merely needs some loving prayer and religious help, in order to redeem himself in the eyes of the lord.

In conclusion:
I miss the good old days when a church or a temple united and pulled a community together, instead of dividing it. A thief, an adulterer or even a prostitute didn't have the sanctuary doors judgmentally and verbally locked against them. They were welcomed with open arms in fellowship. In doing so, they and the congregation learned through love and gentle acceptance to change their ways.

The power of hate is a potent weapon, and in the wrong hands can and does push love and acceptance aside.

I'm sad that those days are gone, probably forever, and I'm hoping that someday a surgeon will find a way to separate the Religious Right from the Political Right, who've been joined at the hip with the Tea Party movement for far too long.

People such as angry Sarah Palin, Pat Robertson, Pat Buchanan, the late Jerry Falwell, Glen Beck and Rush Limbaugh want nothing more than to acquire personal power through the use of the name God and christian "patriotism" to allow them to think and form your opinions for you. They gain this power through unwarrented publicity for the outrageous things they intentionally say. They use God, not to spread the meaning and teachings of the Gospels, but to line their pockets, and gain prestige. Robertson and Graham and their like are nothing more than "thieves at the steps of the temple,” pulling in tens of millions a year in untaxed income for private jets, limos, mansions and to buy massive amounts of slanted commercials in local elections through third parties to amass even more power. They are men who have become so secure in their own sacredness in the scheme of things that they probably believe that God doesn't allow the sun to shine until they wake up in the morning.

I thank god daily that I consider myself a Christian... Just not "their" brand of Christian and remind you that this is only my personal opinion; presented as such and not as undeniable facts as others do.

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